So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
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i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
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The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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