loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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