Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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