I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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