never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize