plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize