how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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