my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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