It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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