theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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