I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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