if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
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His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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