dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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