Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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