A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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