i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize