dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize