I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize