I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize