Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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