I wish I could teleport
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
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... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
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At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize