I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
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Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
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I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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