Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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