I'm really into asian looking animals
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize