How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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