Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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