Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize