Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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