bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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