if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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