We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
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Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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