I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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