Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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