He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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