Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
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He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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