Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize