im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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