singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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