Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
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he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
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I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am available for nakedness
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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