first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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