He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize