Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Couch. On fire.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize