No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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