Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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