i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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