apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize