and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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