Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
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The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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