god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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