my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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