so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize